If you have lost the desire for sex with your partner – is it good news or bad news? 

The question may seem strange, but that's only at first glance. Any psychosomatic disorder is always a chance to resolve accumulated issues and start living healthily and happily. Women often face such problems. So, if from a medical standpoint everything is fine, what might this symptom indicate:

• Consider, do you trust your partner, can you relax in his presence?

Causes: most often the "inability to relax" hides the need to control everything, which in turn stems from distrust of the world, people, and oneself; possible reasons also include traumas related to violation of physical boundaries, domestic or sexual violence.

 Solution: it is necessary to work on the topic of trust in oneself, people, the world, and sexual traumas.

• Consider, do you have contact with your own body?

Causes: if you do not like yourself, do not listen to yourself, do not give yourself what your body asks for in a timely and caring manner: food, drink, rest, sports, care, etc., then you most likely have impaired perception of your own body, and such bodily "blindness and deafness" breeds insecurity. And complexes related to appearance hinder being in contact with both yourself and your partner.

Solution: it is important to pay attention to contact with yourself, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

Read also: Relationship with Yourself. Top 3 rules. .

• Consider, do you value your partner as a representative of the strong sex, can you rely on him and feel supported?

 Reason: if you do not respect your partner as a man, then most likely you feel much stronger, more successful, and earn more. Subconsciously, you devalue and push him away.

Solution: it is important to answer yourself the questions - why did you choose such a partner, why do you need to be strong, what compromises can be made in the relationship?

• Consider, how do you perceive your partner, as a man or as a friend?

Causes: we always strive for family idyll, closeness, and trust, but it is precisely trusting relationships that blur the boundaries between a man and a woman, and this kills sexual desire. Sex requires novelty and spontaneity.

Solution: try to explore together with your partner and find ways to diversify your sex life.

• Consider, do you have the same preferences in sex?  

Causes: often couples do not discuss their preferences, hoping that the partner will guess for themselves. And the woman, for example, waits for the man's initiative, while he, tired at work, wants to relax at home and would appreciate her activity. Or another example, the woman is tender and sensitive and expects this from the man, but he is overly assertive, and so on.

Solution: it is important to learn to talk to your partner on such intimate topics, to express what you would like in sexual contact, to discuss, to seek compromises, and at the same time to consider the value of the desire and opinion of the other

Read also: Childhood trauma, like a tattoo on the body, and how to live with it..

• Partner's infidelity.

Causes: if this is your story and at some point you betrayed yourself in something and showed others that it is possible, then even if you forgave and tried to forget, there often remains a residue in the form of resentment, which women can carry for years and not desire their partner.

Solution: it is important to live through the emotions that were not experienced, to work on the resentment or fear of separation.

Read also: How to survive the infidelity of a loved one?.

• Stress.

Causes: a lot of work, lack of proper sleep and rest, poor nutrition or lack of vitamins, conflicts and quarrels in relationships.

Solution: establish balance in all areas of life - physical, mental, emotional.

• Fear of sexual relationships.

Causes: an opinion instilled in childhood that sex – is dirty and vulgar, "good girls don't do that", leads to a ban on sexual arousal and redirects energy to other areas.

Solution: work through fears, imposed opinions of others, and observe how this affects all areas of your life.

Take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy in everything, take responsibility for your life, and start right now.

iPsycholog - Your online psychologist.

 Read also: «Change, do not leave» or «change do not leave» the decision is yours..