All events or people come into our lives for realizations and discoveries about ourselves, others, the world, and relationships. Sometimes this happens unexpectedly and unpleasantly, so it's important to always be in "shape," and for this, practice regularly and with pleasure, because the results will definitely change your life for the better. I propose 3 Lifehacks on how to deal with manipulators:

1. Forewarned is forearmed. Our body is our best friend and protector; it will always react and thus indicate if something is wrong. If suddenly while communicating with someone, you start experiencing strong anxiety, manifesting as trembling, a lump in the throat, nausea, dizziness, a racing heart, leg cramps, etc., and thoughts come to mind that you are somehow "flawed," then all thoughts, feelings, and sensations are not accidental. A manipulator is trying to switch you into the mode of "sharing life energy for free." At this moment, you need to tell yourself "stop" and ponder.

Questions to yourself: What is happening to me right now? What affected and triggered me so? What really resonated within me? Am I angry, offended, etc.? What "deficiency" of mine was affected: I'm a bad partner, parent, fat, skinny, stupid, loser, etc.?

2. Spectators see the game better than players. When communicating with a manipulator, it's important to continue the game by your rules. This is possible when you see the whole picture. The manipulator's task is to drag you into a state of He "+", You "-". It's great for him if you start justifying yourself or even better if you get overwhelmed with guilt. All you need to do is focus and simply observe, then appreciate the "beauty of the game" and just maintain your boundaries.

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Your actions - you have at least 3 ways to react to a situation. Radical – “sorry, can't right now/ no, I have other plans/ not today…”. Deferred – “I need to think” and take a pause, if necessary, go to another room. With humor, to react this way, remember that people always speak about themselves, even when trying to demean and insult you. All “attacks” on you are often just an unconscious acknowledgment that you are better in some way. Therefore, translate all spoken “-” into a joke and do not take them seriously, and most importantly, do not present your list of grievances and complaints accumulated over the entire period of your acquaintance.

3. I "+", You "+" or the balance of sincerity and politeness. Always, and especially with a manipulator, you need to express your feelings sincerely and at the same time politely, in the format of an "I-message": objectively about the facts, about your feelings, so that the balance of I "+" and You "+", let's agree. 

Read also: How to protect yourself from an "energy vampire". Top 5 methods..

And most importantly, remember that partners/spouses, children, parents, friends, acquaintances, etc., will always open something new for you that you didn't know about yourself before. Accept it as a game.

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